We’re sitting together in the kitchen, softly lit on a Sunday morning, everyone else asleep. The world outside is a damp gray, which makes being in this space even better. I sit at the table with a notebook and a couple of devotionals and a mug of coffee, savoring the heaven that is the first… Continue reading In This Space
Yesterday I went running with the intention of doing three miles at a hard pace. About a mile in, my legs felt heavy. I mean H-E-A-V-Y. Hills didn’t feel like invigorating challenges, they felt spiteful. I considered forgetting the hard pace and turning it into a “finish the run and be grateful” day. But I… Continue reading The Rock in My Pocket
This morning I ran in the dark for the first time in months, sandwiched between baby feedings, almost shrugged off in favor of crawling back into a warm bed. But no. Sometimes you have to just take the step and exercise the all-too-easily atrophied muscle known as willpower. So I did it. I put the… Continue reading Before Dawn
Steam across the invisible finish line Or maybe it’s visible — a sewer cap, a crack in the asphalt, a parked car While birds wing overhead, dark against a blue so bright it seems to glitter. Breath puffs, vapor, dissipating as quickly as the ache of effort Replaced by wholeness, equilibrium, the satisfaction of exertion.… Continue reading The Cool Down
I’m sitting here at my kitchen table, drinking coffee at seven-something in the morning, feeling more content and more steady than I have in a while. Why? Well, at least part of the reason is that I just got back from a run. It’s the first time since Laura’s birth that I’ve run two days… Continue reading Setting a Course
The thing about running is, it doesn’t care how long you’ve been gone or why. When you’re ready for it, there it is, unconditionally. That’s what makes this sport so beautiful. My last run was on September 26 (I checked my training log). At once it’s been ages and the blink of an eye. Mentally… Continue reading First Run Postpartum
First of all, thank you for the words of encouragement after my last post…I love the mom community, and the support means a lot. You know how, when you sign up for a major race, you’re excited and confident? Then you start really getting into the training and that confidence crumbles in a ruthless landslide…but… Continue reading Good Day
I’ve got the house to myself for a minute and an only mildly fussy infant in her bassinet. Let’s do this. Suddenly, it’s almost Christmas Eve. I’ve been in the warped alternate reality that is life with a newborn, compounded by the presence of a toddler, multiplied or divided or something by a revolving door… Continue reading December 23
Our new daughter has arrived. Meet Laura Jean Brantley Sapp: She was born the morning of November 21, as a rare Albuquerque rain was transforming into an even more rare Albuquerque snow. That part was nice. It was also nice to not be induced, to have that experience of waking up at 4 am, shuffling… Continue reading She’s Here!
You’re going to be two. How am I supposed to believe this? You, of the heavenly wondrous curls, waves in front, corkscrews in back, Of the eyes that remind me of your dad’s one day and mine the next, Of the scrunchy-faced grins, You’re going to be two. You came into my life and made… Continue reading Birthday Letter
Can we take a minute to look around and take in all that is going on right now? It’s the last weekend of October. On a local level, Albuquerque-area folks, it’s the last opportunity of the year to visit McCall’s Pumpkin Patch. Whether or not you have kids, if you’ve never been, GO. It’s magnificent.… Continue reading Classic Fall
Ask any marathoner and they could probably describe the 20-mile feeling. At its worst, it’s called the Wall, or bonking. At its best, it’s called…running a marathon. No matter its strength, it’s often characterized by feeling depleted, detached, and demoralized, with a ferociously strong desire to offer up your favorite dismissive profanity, toddle yourself over… Continue reading That 20-Mile Feeling, and Dealing With It
The season, she’s-a finally changing. Summer’s still fighting, but the momentum has unquestionably shifted. I felt it this morning when I was walking around the neighborhood, noting that tomorrow I may actually (gasp!) wear capris instead of shorts. It’s more momentous than it sounds. I felt it when I took Caroline to the playground and… Continue reading We’ve Made It!
Do you have a race that always seems to line up with a major milestone? Kind of a “This Is Your Life” race? For me, that’s the TyRUNnosaurus 5k, formerly the Dino Dash, held here in Albuquerque every September. The first time I ran this race, it was my last race before becoming a mom.… Continue reading Running Finds a Way
I love being present. The joy and freedom of not thinking about the future is pretty darn awesome. What keeps me in the present? Motherhood, for one. The toddler who makes sure I notice an airplane overhead — Uh, Mama? There is an OBJECT? In the SKY? MOVING??? — and who turns my frown into… Continue reading The Long Game
In a few years, Caroline and her little sister (oh yeah, hey, we’re having another girl!) will attend John Baker Elementary School. Until recently, I had no idea who John Baker was, and didn’t much care. Probably some local public servant, maybe politician, pillar of the community, yawn. The school is supposedly a good one,… Continue reading A Great Runner and a Little Neighborhood History
Shhhh. It’s a hair after 6 a.m. and I’ve just gotten back from my run. I’m in Scottsdale, Arizona with the family, visiting friends, hence the early hour. Wait for the sun to rise fully before starting an outside workout around here and…. sizzlefrysizzlefrysizzlefry. It’s not pretty. But now? Now is good. Now I feel… Continue reading Morning in the Valley of the Sun
Robin Hood and I have been married four years today. Four years! That’s one Olympic cycle, or one United States presidential term. A long time from some angles, a microscopic drop in the ocean of time from others. I know four years isn’t a very long time to be married. I mean, if this were… Continue reading Anniversaries
I’ve been thinking about perspective lately. It doesn’t come as any surprise, really. My 38th birthday is around the corner. Around several more corners will be the birth of my second child. I’ve also been reading Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly,” a book that makes me take a discerning look at how I’ve been viewing myself… Continue reading I Get To
Sunday night got a little rough. Somewhere around 2 am, I woke up with weird feelings in my abdomen. As one does at 2 am, especially when one is riding the hormonal roller coaster of pregnancy, I immediately assumed the worst. I cried a little and prayed a lot. On top of that, I had… Continue reading Not Today
On your marks, get set… We’re having another baby! Our new addition, gender to be determined this summer, is due to arrive in November. Will he/she share Caroline’s birthday (hopefully not, but that’s not for me to decide)? Will he/she be a Scorpio or a Sagittarius? Time will tell. Here’s what I do know: We… Continue reading Autumn Plans
The Run for the Zoo is arguably my favorite running event in Albuquerque. I haven’t run it every year that I’ve lived here, but this year the stars aligned favorably and I found myself at the 5k starting line (they also offer a 10k and half-marathon) on Sunday morning. I was a little out of… Continue reading Run for the Zoo 2019
This morning as I was putting Caroline down for a nap, I suddenly realized she was staring at me like she was trying very, very hard to communicate something. I stared back, just smitten. It was a nice little moment, and it made me want to pause and write some words, so I’m even more… Continue reading Hop, Skip, Jump
Now you’re beginning to see Their strength, their purpose, Their possibilities. Walking, running, dancing, skipping, jumping. Moving, resting. They’ll only get stronger. Who knows the miles they’ll cover, The scratches and scars, the muscles and lines, The dimples, bumps, and bruises Which will become their story, their song. They’ll only get stronger. You’ll fall, you’ll… Continue reading Your Legs
When a new season is mere days away and the first brave trees are blossoming, testing the waters, and they’re so beautiful with their blossoms and their bravery that it makes you want to tuck your long running tights way back in the closet, except that it’s still low 30s in the mornings. But the… Continue reading That Feeling When…
I was sitting in our front room reading while Caroline napped when it occurred to me: one year ago, this would have seemed impossible. Back then I was the mother of a three-month-old. Life was about feedings and wakings and sleeping or not sleeping and oh yes, more feedings. I was running again by that… Continue reading It Will Come Back
“Stepping into that place of risk had felt momentous. I’d felt light and free, as if I was going after something instead of holding back.” -Deena Kastor, Let Your Mind Run As winter dwindles, the darkness before sunrise has lost some of its punch. My fellow early-morning runners, isn’t this the best? I was trotting… Continue reading Going For It
This week I read a reminder to count my blessings. Pausing right now to look around, and within, I realize this moment is pretty rife with them. I want to freeze time, just for a minute, to fully appreciate these blessings. I want to capture… …Caroline being small enough to fit under a coffee table,… Continue reading Snapshot
Towards the end of Steven Spielberg’s The Pacific, several soldiers are on a train heading home from World War II. One of them stands to get off at his stop; seeing that his buddies are asleep, he doesn’t wake them. He simply leaves. After all they’d been through together, that parting always seemed sad to… Continue reading Thank You, Salty Running
This Bible study I’m doing, “Live Beautifully,” has us examining the books of Ruth and Esther. Before starting the study, I re-read each, as it had been, oh let’s say a while since I’d taken a look at either. One verse in particular in Ruth jumped out at me: “Then she [Naomi] said, ‘Sit still,… Continue reading Sitting Still
You never know what’s going to flip that switch and shift you from sitting-there-revving-the-engines mode into step-on-the-gas mode. For me, several things happened in quick succession. I received my first-ever Garmin as a gift a couple of weeks ago. Yup, my first-EVER Garmin. I’ve shrugged off such technology in the past because frankly, I haven’t… Continue reading Flipping the Switch
It’s been a rainy morning. I haven’t run in a couple of days, because Caroline and I have our first mother-daughter cold. I’m trying to tell myself this is sweet, because it’s better than thinking about how I rapid-fire sneezed while trying to put her down for a nap, or how I caught her with… Continue reading January
There’s something magical, almost ethereal, about running outside while it’s snowing. Especially early on a Sunday morning, when it’s just you and the paperboy, and the streets aren’t bad and the wind isn’t bad and you feel like you’re running in a computer screensaver circa 1999. Actually, in doesn’t seem right; neither does through. No,… Continue reading Running With Snow
I set my timer for 15 minutes, because yes I can carve out 15 minutes to write. Of course I can. That’s what this time of year is all about: being intentional with time. It’s so easy, too easy, to get caught on the I haven’t bought enough gifts — I haven’t put up enough… Continue reading Five Days Out
My baby’s going to be a year old soon. A full year. I don’t know how to process this. I’m still processing the fact – undeniable! She’s right there! – that I am indeed a mother, that I have a daughter, that we’re bound forever. She’ll always be part of me and I’ll always be… Continue reading Basically, I Still Have No Idea What I’m Doing
I’m standing in my kitchen in the early-morning, daylight-savings darkness, nursing a cup of coffee. I’ve just come back from a 2.5 mile run, and am enjoying quiet time before everyone else wakes up. I’ve said prayers and done stretches and eaten a granola bar, and the caffeine is starting to kick in, so to… Continue reading Bright Lights, Big Race: It’s NYC Marathon Eve!
At some point — I think when I was hoofing it up a large hill wearing camo and running tights — it hit me: this is exactly what I needed. Robin Hood and I went elk hunting last week in northern New Mexico. Distracted by life, it took me a while to get excited about… Continue reading It’s Not About the Elk
I got up this morning, suited up for running, and stealthily (so I thought) slipped out of the bedroom. I headed for my running shoes, looking forward to a couple of miles in the brisk air. For whatever reason, my mind was awake and more static-y than usual for this hour. No good. Needed to… Continue reading I Wish I Were More Like My Daughter
I made homemade applesauce for the first time yesterday, because what else are you supposed to do if you don’t have a fall marathon to run? Kidding, kidding! Although I did realize that it’s been three years since my last marathon. Three years! That’s by far the longest I’ve gone between marathons since I started… Continue reading Applesauce
My second race as a mom is in the books! I ran the Dino Dash 5k this past Sunday. Aside from being my second mom-race, it carried additional significance because last year’s Dino Dash was the last race I ran before having Caroline. Yes, I ran faster this time around. There weren’t any tears or… Continue reading Dino Dash 2018: That Felt GOOD.
We left for Texas on a Thursday, our Tundra stuffed to the gills with, well, stuff. The flotsam that surrounds a hunter going to Texas; a 9-month-old baby; and a, cough, slightly anxious mother embarking on her first major road trip with said baby. Our dog, God love her, stayed with a friend. My sanity… Continue reading In Which Texas Teaches Me a Thing or Two
I told myself I would never be one of them: one of those moms who constantly wears running clothes, whether or not she has actually gone running that day. I told myself that, after all, I’m no clothes horse. It’s really not that taxing to throw on khaki shorts and a mostly-stain-free t-shirt instead of… Continue reading A Case for Living in Running Clothes
Funny, the magic that encircles a new school year even if you don’t have kids in school. Albuquerque students started back on Monday, and even though I won’t be shopping for school supplies for another few years, little things have happened over the past week that smack of optimism, exciting change, and goals for the… Continue reading It’s That Time Again
Lauren Fleshman (please look her up if you don’t know who she is — my admiration for her grows daily) recently shared a writing prompt called “No, Thank You” on social media. I loved the message and the idea and couldn’t resist putting pen to paper…but then I couldn’t stop and suddenly the length was… Continue reading No, Thank You
I’m not fully ready to write this race report, but if I wait until I’m fully ready, I’ll never write the thing. So let’s just do it and see how it goes, shall we? I had that exact thought a few weeks ago when I registered for Albuquerque’s Lavender Run, a 4-mile race on a… Continue reading Racing Like a Mom
By “got” I mean “rode.” And by “pony” I mean full-grown, tall, powerful, handsome (not cute) HORSE. Outside of being led placidly around a corral, I had never ridden a horse before, but I’ve always liked them — who doesn’t? Mix together a couple of recent horse-related conversations between Robin Hood and I, and: Voila!… Continue reading I Got a Pony! Sort of.
We took our becoming-annual trip to Red River, New Mexico last weekend. It was hard. Traveling with a dog has its challenges. Traveling with a 6-month-old has its challenges. Wrangling both at a hotel — coordinating walks, feedings, etc. — while hubby is doing his thing at an archery shoot both Saturday and Sunday? Well.… Continue reading Building Things
How many new runners say they’re not “real runners”? And continue saying this for years? It can take a while for us, as runners, to feel like we belong. We look at people faster than us, people with more experience, people who have run X number of races or can cover seemingly huge distances effortlessly.… Continue reading The Impostor
Hi there. While Robin Hood works a little late, Caroline takes her “teatime” nap, and light rain spatters the cinder block wall in our backyard for the first time since I don’t know, I thought I would check in. How is everybody? Life here in Albuquerque is, I have to say, good. We recently crested… Continue reading Tra-La, It’s May
They say growth is impossible unless you leave your comfort zone, and I support this. But here’s the thing: in order for that growth to happen, don’t you need a comfort zone from which to launch? Some days — okay, a lot of days — it feels like my comfort zone went AWOL the day… Continue reading In Defense of Comfort Zones
